03/12/24
it's tuesday. i have a bunch of papers due today and i did... one of 'em. heh
my boyfriend arrives in four days!!!!! i have do uh deep clean the house. i think i found the source of my roach problem, i just need to clean the place they were at.
as promised! i'll post my pictures. but just the edited ones 'cause i like them more. both taken by rach, edited by me
the idea for our group project was like a retro album lyric book for a girlband (+our boy friend, but he's one of the girls), and i chose the songs supershy and popstar for me. the songs were supposed to represent us in someway, put truth be told i just chose 'em cause i wanted :p
i think that's it for today! i'll go be productive.
byebye! log end.
02/12/24
a bunch of fucking things happened today and i'll edit this log tomorrow morning, maybe.
but what. the actual fuck. waking up way too early then having to deal with a bunch of roaches in my kitchen??????
and then my crazy psycho professor demanded a bunch of things i needed to change in my final project???? which fine, some needed a few adjustments. but she was such a bitch about it??? tf
anyway, that same friend from those other logs, rachel— she said i had to post my pictures on an insta dump, because i looked so pretty in them. but i don't use insta anymore, so i told her i'd post them here, then showed her and my other friend, cindy, these blog pages. feels nice to show people the silly things i do. c:
im getting quite sleepy rn, so i'll save this entry for later. nighty night!
30/11/24
haro everynyan.
it's been a few days innit? i'm currently procrastinating on uni work, who would have thought, huh?
i think i'll write this out of the order i listed on the title. bare with me.
since me and my boyfriend are both trying different ways to cope because of the end of arcane, we naturally made... arcane ocs. and then i asked him if he would like to roleplay with them.
you see, i met my bf on tumblr, with our roleplay blogs. my oldest oc ever— jean-julien (once named jean-louis)— was made just to date his vampire oc— klaus (who's still named klaus). a couple of years ago we got overexcited and created a bunch of telegram groups to roleplay different scenarios but we both got too overworked and kinda forgot about it. it's been too long anyway.
so we quickly put together aelira and viper. the setting is piltover and zaun, before the events of arcane S1. currently, it's my turn to reply to the roleplay.
leo commented that one of the things he missed about roleplaying on tumblr was being able to use reaction icons in his replies and i promptly said— what if i make an html page for us? so i did! i borrowed one of repth layout's and edit a little bit, added a page for the roleplay, for character profiles, a icon gallery, etc. took me a long time, and i'm very proud of it. i sent the html and css files to leo so he can edit, and he'll send it back to me when he can. but in the meantime, we can think of our answers with the replies on the telegram groupchat.
honestly, i don't know if this is something that can be understood by a reader. but this is a diary, and it's for me, right?
i'm able to post that edited banksy artwork because i took it back for me. turns out the seraph single was not within the guidelines for the work. i decided not to risk it, and took that idea back, and made another one to my friend. since she takes very pretty selfies to post on instagram, i had the idea of cropping venus (from the birth of venus, by botticelli) and placing her in front of a mirror, with a smarthphone in her hand. it was quite simple to put together, surprisingly easy to fit a phone in her hand.
i'll not post the work i did for my friend, who knows if my professor will do an image reverse search.
if she ever reverse search my banksy edit, idk if she can end up in this page, but there's no way to prove i'm... me, right?
well, idc at this point. this is also my art diary! so here it is!
looking at it now, i can see where i could have done better. his hand really bothers me for some reason, but damn, i think this is the best edit i've done in a while (aside from the final work for this class, which i won't post here because it has irl pics of me and my friends. not now, at least).
so we're at the end with... new diary layout!!!!!!!
while browsing through repth's layouts, i really liked this one, and considered it for the roleplay with my boyfriend. but since we agreed on another one, i thought— well. i'll make something with this one. and here it is.
i have so much things to do, and yet i'm here. isnt't the end of a semester magical, peoples?
i think this is where i'll end this. i still have to search for images to fill this layout, new colors and new typography.
writing from procrastination sekai. log end.
24/11/24
my thing with diaries is that i often write my entries to cool off or vent. i have a physical, paper vent diary to write in my native language, but i feel myself inclined to write here cause i'm quite proud of what i acomplished in this blog.
i watched the substance and the last the episodes of arcane's season two and it was quite a Lot to unwind. i experienced emotions i was not quite ready to deal with at the end of a semester.
i'm still grieving for fictional characters. i cried like a baby at the end of S2 part one, and ugly cried once the season was over. and i'm coping by listening to stromae's and pomme's music for the show.
in my native language we have an expression that literally translates to "melted butter", which means a person is very sentimental. my mom ofter described me like this, especially when we both cried at the movies when watching children's animation. and damn i felt like a fucking puddle of butter idk.
well yeah i often deal with overwhelming emotions by crying out loud, but i felt quite silly grieving for uh 2d charas.
it had been, what, two years without arcane? and now that it comes back i fall in love with its characters all over again, just for them to be taken from me.
i don't like angst, but i knew what i was in for the moment i started watching the second season. it was great, don't get me wrong. it is an imppecable animation, but it made me oh, so sad. i haven't been sad because of a show in Ages. i often get emotional (it happened on S1EP7 of dandandan) but not... sad. i don't understand it and it makes me feel stupid silly honestly.
I'M FINE WHILE WRITING THIS, but with the slight breeze of sadness from last night.
these past few days, i've been feeling lonely. i've been living alone for the past three months after spending many years sharing an apartment with an exboyfriend, then 3 (4?) more living with my mom and grandma. these past weeks went without classes, and this next week will also not have any. i feel very... alone without a rotine and without seeing my friends. i like the calmness, the quiet to do all of the papers i have to do, but as i lay my head to rest at night i feel so excruciatingly lonely. like i'm floating in a void and there's only me and no one else.
i'm mostly an offline person. i've renouced social media because it makes me a ball of anxiety with FOMO. but it's hard to be offline when all your friends are online, ig. i feel like an outcaster when i have no life outside my apartment.
i didn't bring this to therapy yet because of more pressing matters, and the lonely will not be relevant next week, i suppose? we'll se.
from within the hex crystal. log end.
22/11/24
23/11/24
22th - writing on the 23th. a friend of mine asked me to do that creative project activity for her in exchange for some other stuff i'd had to pay her to do. i made a little project yesterday, but i still had no response from her if she liked or not. i decided to the other suggestion the professor gave us, where you choose a work of art and re-imagine it.
so before sleeping i kept thinking and thinking and thinking (and also thinking that my seraph single sucked), and i'm pretty sure the idea came to me in a dream. surprisingly, what i've done is exactly what i imagined.
edit. i deleted the image of what i've done, but it's basically banksy's LIITA with a palestinian flag.
it's pretty self explanatory and i'm really proud of it. i always liked banksy's artwork, and when researching i found out that the most well known version of LIITA is in a Jerusalem mural, made right after the construction of the West Bank Wall that separates Israel from Palestine. so. yeah. i'm honestly hoping that my friend doesn't like it so I can take credit for it lolz.
buuuuuuuuut if she doesn't like it i have no idea of what i'll do for her. i hope she'll give me some ideas if she wants it re-done.
23th. yesterday i kept working on the seraph's single cover. i didn't think it was good, or enough, and today was the same. but i decided to keep it simple, and i just erased the gradient map on the bottom of the song's name. i think it's much better this way, and closer to the vision i had of it in my brain.
very subtle, but for me makes a lot of difference.
quite unrelated, but while i write this i'm trying to make peach... jam? it's simmering. i've cooked peaches before, but this time the peaches i bought were way too green and when i tried to skin them, it just... didn't work.
so i hope this whatever i'm making jam(?) works.
well, ninni signing off! log end.
22/11/24
i had to do !!creative stuff!! for one of my classes. i have a week to do it, but decided to do today since i've gotten overwhelmed by reading critical texts for... another one of my uni classes. it's sort of a design class, and everyone in my class hates it because well, it's not the Main focus of our major anyways.
but i. kinda like it.
fine, the professor can be a little bit demanding... or a lot— but, idk. i quite like her, and i like her classes, and i liked doing this project.
i've shown it to my boyfriend, who is an illustrator/artist/designer, as usual. and i realized that... i kinda wanted to post it somewhere. but i've resigned twitter and instagram so what was left was... well, here!
i wanted to do a diary other than the update diary, to idk, track the progress of what i'm doing, but with no pressure. so this was the opportunity! yay.
well, without further ado... here it is!
tada! i may or maynot change it entirely.
the idea of this single cover is to convey the emotions of the song. i chose seraph, by dpr ian! he's my favorite artist ever, and i've been obsessed with the intro songs of his albuns since ... ever, really.
my photoshop skills are not good enough to illustrate everything i feel while listening to seraph, but the idea of flames and void and noise is there. i just need a convincing explanation... cause the professor demanded... uh. well, yeah, an explanation. i'll figure it out later.
that's it! log end.
